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First, if you understand the title to this post, then we’d probably get along very well.

I wanted to take this opportunity to compare and contrast these two highly culturally significant icons of the eighties. Seriously, they were, right?


We’ll start with .38 Special. I mean, their melodic rock hits, although somewhat poppy, were catchy as all hell. You might remember such smash hits as Hold on Loosely, and Caught Up In You. But don’t forget about this rad video:

Hold on Loosely is especially important. It’s just so damn true. Not bad for some Florida boys who, although often labeled as Southern Rock, or Arena Rock icons, I like to refer to them as “Camaro Rock”. I place them in the top three classic examples of Camaro Rock, sandwiched in between Molly Hatchet and Eddie Money.

Now for Today’s Special. I hope everybody remembers this show. It featured Jeff Hyslop as Jeff, a mannequin at a department store that came to life when he put on a magic hat and a mouse puppet named Muffy uttered the magic words “Hocus Pocus Alamagocus.” wow. I just read that sentence…

It’s not as weird as it sounds. It was just Canadian. That kind of stuff happens there. It was a children’s show that ran from 1982-1987, and featured storylines that revolved around guest characters or objects that interact with the main characters and end up teaching the viewers a lesson. The lessons ranged from alcoholism to hats. It was a broad range of subject matter. The main characters are as follows:

Jeff: The dancing magic mannequin man is very sensitive and enjoys illustrating life lessons through his own learning experiences. These qualities, along with being a mannequin, makes it safe to assume he had no actual boy parts.

Jodie: The store display setter-upper often enlists the aid of her friends to help her set up her displays at the store. In exchange, she helps them with their issues.

Sam Crenshaw: The clumsy old puppet security guard. Every show should have one of these. He’s like a grandpa.

Muffy Mouse: The ditsy mouse puppet is the smurfett of the show. She only speaks in rhyme, and is responsible for bringing Jeff to life when she says “Hocus Pocus Alamagocus.” She rides a scooter and loves snacks.

So here we have it. The show, while never reaching the popularity 38 Special did, has a lot going for it. It teaches kids life lessons via an androgynous mannequin and some puppets. The band just makes you wanna grab box of Coors Light and hang out on the hood of your Camaro and have some good old fashioned glory days. So pretty equal right? Well if it’s close, here’s the clincher:

That’s right. In case you forgot, 38 Special did the theme song to Revenge of the Nerds 2: Back to Paradise. … and they’re named after a gun.

Sorry, Today’s Special. .38 Special is more special. Hold on Loosely ftw.


One Comment

  1. I completely disagree with this conclusion.

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